"If you would forgive your enemy, says the Malay proverb, first inflict a hurt on him" (Wharton, pg97). Edith Wharton in The House of Mirth uses this proverb at a very crucial point in her plot. I took a deeper understanding of this quote. I believe the Wharton means that, in Lily's case, for her to fully forgive Bertha Dorset, she must first get even with her. Likewise, as long as Lily possessed those letters she bought, she could somehow find a way to turn the tide of the action.
As the story progresses, I haven't really seen any change in Lily Bart's character in the way that she is extremely vain. It also doesn't seem to matter who is admiring her. Miss Bart just must like the attention. "Ah, it was good to be young, to be radiant, to glow with the sense of slenderness, strength and elasticity, of well-poised lines and happy tints, to feel oneself liftered to a height apart be that incommunicable grace which is the bodily counterpart of genius!" (Wharton, pg94).
However, I feel that Lily seems to only feel self-confident about her appearance when things seem to be going her way. When she is lacking in confidence of the outside world, Lily begins to see her flaws. Similarly, she attributes her disappointments and failures to these facial and bodily flaws.
In the last quote I listed above on page 94, I thought that might have been repetition in the use of short phrases beginning with "to" in a long series.
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